The World According to Little Kids
Walls look so much better when they are decorated with artwork. Markers and crayons work best.
The living room is so much better for running around and making noise than your own room. A couch makes a great trampoline.
Things that belong to parents are made to taken apart and explored.
Just feel the music and dance. Don’t worry about how you look.
I won’t play with that kid just because you’re friends with his parents.
Stop asking “Why did you do that?” I don’t have an answer.
Some of us like to play quietly and some of us like to run wild, don’t judge.
Weekends are made for waking up at 6am.
It’s fun to flush stuff.
Parents are confusing. They tell you not to speak to strangers, then when you meet a stranger, they tell you to say hello.
Saying, “You look like Squidward from SpongeBob Squarepants is really a compliment.
No matter how many times I watch the same TV show, listen to the same song, read the same book or watch the same movie, I can never really get tired of it.
You can never have too many Thomas the Tank Engine trains, Hotwheels cars or Lego pieces.
I don’t like to hug or kiss certain family members. Ask me to do it again and I’ll embarrass you.
You are responsible for the whereabouts of all my toys.
Even though I have my own bed, I just have to sleep in my parents’ bed.
If parents laugh when I say bad words, I’ll just keep saying them.
I am never tired. Never.
I may hear you say, “Who wants ice cream?”, but I can’t hear when you say, “It’s bedtime.”
I may not know time, but I know when all my favorite tv shows are on and that it’s too soon to leave when I’m having fun.
Clothing should always be optional.
Never tell me anything you don’t want me to repeat in public.
Farts are funny.
The dirtier, the noisier, the faster, stickier the better.
I am deceptively simple.
Why do I need to know how to tie my laces, when there are velcro straps on my shoes?
Scarves, gloves, hats, and sometimes jackets will get lost at school.
Five minutes is a long time to wait.
Sand and mud are fun.
When I’m on the move, don’t get in my way.
Don’t try to figure me out.
Why should bread have crust?
There’s alot of things to do in the bathroom.
Keys, credit cards, and cell phones like to play hide and seek.
A french fry is a vegetable.
One day I will climb that wall.
I am invincible.