Are You the Mom Do You Want to Be?
Whether you’re known as mom, mommy, mama, ma, mum, mother; the title follows you wherever you go. Your children are never far from your thoughts even when you’re enjoying that Mai Tai while on vacation, margaritas when you’re on a girl’s night out, or drinking coffee while at work. As much “me time” as you take, you still worry about your children and their well-being.
It’s not our fault. Once we gave birth, we knew that this little person would depend on us for love, support and guidance. As we journeyed into motherhood, we started doubting our abilities to do our best for our children. Just when we get a hang of it, the teen years slap us with the reality that motherhood is a lifelong learning experience.
We either become better moms than we set out to be or make more mistakes than we intended. We deal with the scrutiny of other moms, family, teachers and graciously accept their praises too. We know that despite our best efforts, society will see our children’s failures as a refection of us.
With my first son, I didn’t give much thought to the kind of mom I wanted to be. I just winged it for the first 3 years. When I had my second son 13 years later (after getting over the shock), I was more aware of my roles as a mother. After all, I had 13 years experience under my belt. I didn’t realize my naivety in thinking it would be so simple. I know now that being the mom I want to be is a daily process. I want to be the kind of mom who looks back on her life and feels fulfilled. I don’t want to live with regret, resentment or guilt.
It means ending each day reflecting on my interactions with my sons.
- Did I spend quality time with my children or was I too busy doing other things?
- Was I compassionate?
- Did my sons feel respected and loved?
- Did I neglect any teachable moments?
- What did I teach my sons today?
- What did I learn from my sons today?
Each day presents an opportunity for me to be the mom I want to be. I may not always succeed in accomplishing all that I set out to do, but that’s okay. I’m still learning?
What kind of mom do you want to be?