Puberty is Like a Sucker Punch

Photo Courtesy of Andrea Allen

I think moms of boys under the age of 10 are so cute. The way they go on and on about their little guy is so touching, you almost don't want to burst their bubble. Almost. But you know better because you are the mom of a teen boy. A different species. You've witness and live through what puberty does to this sweet little boy. You know that in a few years, she'll be asking herself: " What happened to my little boy?"

She'll notice the signs such as his increasing appetite, voice and other physical changes. She just won't expect the emotional changes directed at her. It's like overnight, her son went from hugging her goodnight to being repulsed by her touch.

It will hit her like sucker punch. Not the kind of sucker punch you get from a toddler while trying to take the remote control from him. A 1990s Mike Tyson sucker punch.The kind that makes you sleep for days.

Puberty is like what happened to Gregor Samsa in Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis (Yes, I read literature). Overnight, that sweet little boy who hung onto your leg and said he would marry you when he gets older transforms into another being.  This new being is taller, stronger and has more testosterone. He will test limits,  he will be unpredictable, he will have new adventures, he will utter few words, and he will spend a lot of time in his room. The more you try to reach out to him, the more rejects you and each time you go down like the Meme in Wii Boxing that gets  KO'd.

You have to keep in mind that puberty is just as confusing to your son as it is to you. He can't explain his physical or psychological changes. He is having a difficult time figuring out who he is and what he wants.

Just as you resign to the fact that your little boy is gone, the unexpected happens. One day, he comes home from school, hugs you from behind and tells you about his school day.  As he makes his way to his room, you sigh in relief that all is well again. You even make his favorite dinner. Just don't get too comfortable. Another sucker punch is right around the corner.

Hang in there. You'll just get a few more gray hairs from the experience.

How are you adjusting to puberty?

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10 Responses to Puberty is Like a Sucker Punch

  1. Www says:

    This article is on point, with no additives or explanations from out of the air. It is what it is. I am going through this at this very moment. I felt shunned. Thought I dis something wrong. But soon realized that it was puberty. I didn’t expect it so soon. But quickly allowed it to morph. He’s 14 and I’m right there with him, until he is ready to be comfortable in that zone without me.

  2. mroker says:

    Thank you! It is not a fun experience but the wisdom you gain from it is invaluable. It does feel like it’s personal but our society has ingrained in the minds of boys that they need to reject their mothers. This along with their psychological changes makes it difficult to connect with them.

  3. Ginny Marie says:

    I’m sure I’ll have certain issues with my daughters when they reach puberty! Fortunately we’re not there yet.

  4. Oh Marie you hit the nail right on the head! This is soooo true! Great Post :) and cute 😉

  5. mroker says:

    Thank you Shari! lol You’e survived it, huh? When I get through it, we’ll compare battle scars 😉

  6. mroker says:

    Let’s pray you get through it unscathed :)

  7. Esther Irish says:

    My oldest is ten…soon! :)

  8. mroker says:

    You have time. Enjoy him everyday.

  9. Maria says:

    Thank You! I am right in the middle of this with my twelve year old son. I do definitely feel shunned/rejected by him and he is my sweet baby. He has been spending large amounts of time by himself in the bathroom and in his bedroom. You have hit the nail on the head! I will stop taking it so personally. A friend of mine pointed out that boys at this age are sexually aroused by just about all women including their mother and this causes a great deal of confusion and guilty feelings for them. Thanks again!

  10. mroker says:

    Thank you Maria for stopping by! So glad the blog post was helpful. It’s hard not to take our sons behavior personal because we remember how attached they were to us.
    I think the emotional and physical changes are so overwhelming to them. Plus society sends the message that they’re weak or a “mama’s boy” so they have to start to pull away.

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