Category Archives: Uncategorized

7 Mini Pep Talks to Have With Your Son

Everyone needs a pep talk from time to time. It’s easy for kids to get discouraged when they can’t do something and want to give up. More than giving support and cheering our sons on, we need to help them overcome the challenge and stay on track.

Motivation

1. Change Your Approach

Step out of your point of view and look at things objectively.  It will help you gain a new perspective.
“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.”-Mario Andretti

2. Step Away From the Situation

Take a break from the challenge or obstacle that is blocking you. Don’t try to dominate or overpower it.
“Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.” -Brian Adams

3. Be Still

Quiet your mind so that you can get the answer that you need. Just take a few minutes to clear your mind.
“An inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind. -Walter Bagehot

4. Keep Your Enthusiasm

Don’t lose the energy and spirit that you need to keep you going. Start each day with a positive outlook.
Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill

5. Use Your Imagination

See yourself accomplishing your goals.
“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” -Stephen Covey

6. Write Out Your Dreams/Goals

Write out exactly what you are striving for until it becomes real to you.
“Motivation is like food for the brain. You cannot get enough in one sitting. It needs continual and regular top up’s.” -Peter Davies

7. Have Faith

Faith is the greatest motivator of all times, without it you can get nowhere, with it you are a powerful force.
“Walking your talk is a great way to motivate yourself. No one likes to live a lie. Be honest with yourself, and you will find the motivation to do what you advise others to do.
-Vince Poscente

What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be: Image of a Real Man

This month’s What Kind of Man Do You Want to Be topic: The Image of a Real Man was a conversation about the image of a real man and how societal  and media masculine standards perpetuates male stereotyping.

Panelists  for Part I:  Enrique Pascal,  author of What Does A Real MAN Look Like? and host of Transformation Radio and Alan Bishop, founder of The 365 Effect, producer and creator several television shows .

Panelists for Part II: Edmund Adjapong, Rey Saint-Vil and Alex Hanse

FYI (if you’re teenage girl) A Response from a Mom of Boys

20120915_132929Dear Mrs. Hall,

My letter is in response to your post: FYI (if you’re a teenage girl).

Mrs. Hall, I congratulate you in doing a fine job in raising great men. It is always a pleasure to meet another mom who is leaving a legacy of compassionate, respectful and responsible men. I read your post and thought it was a well-written and thoughtful  letter to teen girls.  I appreciate how you approached the topic with love and candor.  Your letter was indeed a wake-up call to teen girls and their parents.

It’s unfortunate that so many people missed the points you were making because they were obsessing over your picture of your sons in swimsuits.

I wanted to share some thoughts with you( mom to mom) about how we can all help teen boys and girls to have self-respect, make better decisions, and use social media responsibly.

We were teens (not that long ago) and fortunately we did not have social media to capture some of our antics or poor decisions. I can speak for myself but I remember wearing short skirts to draw the attention of boys. I never went to the extreme but when my friends and I noticed what guys liked, we would make subtle changes to get attention.

As a mom of two boys, one a teenager, I want to believe that my sons will always make the right decisions. But let’s be honest, a teen brain isn’t fully developed and teens can make less than rational choices. Although, we are instilling in our sons  the importance of love,  integrity, honesty, and empathy, we are not living in a teen boy’s world. As much as our teen son shares with us, there’s still some information he keeps to himself.

There are many honorable, respectful young men out there but even they sometimes get caught up in doing less than honorable things. I’ve worked with teen boys and most have been honest enough to tell me that they have passed along to their friends private photos of teen girls..  They felt they were claiming their alpha male status and didn’t see the harm in sharing the picture.

We have to ask ourselves: Why do these teen girls feel the need to take half-naked pictures in sultry positions? Perhaps instead of putting the responsibility on girls, we have to talk with our sons about objectification of women. There is a culture standard of sexy that teens feel they have to live up to. When teen girls see themselves as  “parts of a body” instead of whole and complete, they justify the need to be an object of desire for teen boys. We need to teach our sons to see these girls as “whole” and not just body parts. Yes, easier said than done when dealing with teens and raging hormones.

We can not dismiss the fact that as a society we contribute to this objectification and our sons aren’t always innocent bystanders.    We need to explain to them why these girls are taking these pictures. Yes, it’s important to tell teen girls to be a “real beauty inside and out” but we also have to teach our sons to be gentlemen.

Have you asked your sons what they think about these pictures or do you take it upon yourself to voice your disapproval? I would hope that they would take it upon themselves to block these girls as oppose to you doing it for them.

Our kids are living in a different time and are exposed to the media’s continuous objectification and sexualization of teen boys and girls. We can’t just expect to block people or sites to protect them. We must have honest conversations with our sons about sex and porn. We have to bear the responsibility of what we’re teaching our sons and daughters about the opposite sex.

Let’s continue the good fight to raise men and women of character.

Follow Your Heart

Have you made a decision recently that you are now regretting? At the moment did you know that the decision was not right for you, but you went along with it anyway? It’s interesting how we choose to get into situations, simply because we feel so strongly about having something that perhaps is not appropriate for us. It’s difficult sometimes to listen to our hearts and trust our instincts.

Follow Your Heart

Against better judgment, we sometimes make a left turn, when we were suppose to make a right turn. We second-guess ourselves even though deep down, we know what we are feeling is right. Many of us as children were taught to follow our heads. We learned to think logically and to rationalize our decisions. Unless we had parents who taught us the importance of following our hearts, we learned to ignore our “gut feeling”.

Some of us are living our lives as dreamers and idealists following what our hearts are leading us to. Some of us are realists, following our heads and limiting ourselves to our logical minds.
When was the last time you did something based on what your heart was telling you? Instead or weighing the pros and cons on your decisions, try listening to your heart. Be still, silence your mind chatter and listen to what your heart is telling you. Don’t rush through a decision because it seems like the right thing to do. If you let your instincts guide you, you will surely find yourself on the right path.

Have Faith in Dad

This week, I am dedicating a post a day to a word the exemplifies a “real dad”.  Unfortunately, our society had taken a polarized stand when it comes to fatherhood. Basically, you’re either Cliff Huxtable or Darth Vader.

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We tend to neglect or forget the men in between. The dads who despite not having a great role model, dis their best to provide for their children, love them and instill strong family values. These men are rarely talked about because we have this unfair expectations of fathers. We laud fathers who make supreme sacrifices but we demonize those who fall short of being “Dad of the Year”.

We forget that these men are human  and not without fault. Yes, its not enough for them to provide for their children, they must be emotionally, mentally and spiritually present in their lives. Before a man can do all this, he must have faith in himself as a father. He has to believe that he is the man for this job. He has to know that parenting is a futile attempt to make order out of chaos.

Yes, there will be days when you disappoint your kids and yourself, yet this does not mean that you are a bad father.  It is a learning experience.  Just as there are no perfect moms, there are no perfect dads.

So today, I urge all fathers who feel they are threading closely to parenting failure to take heart. For every dad that thinks he’s screwing up, there’s a kid proving him wrong.

Moms, let’s do our part to be supportive and encouraging instead of critical when dad is doing his best. We can not control and dictate every situation.  If we want our sons to become responsible fathers, we have to let them see their dad in action.

I used to think that I did things better than my husband and would micromanage almost everything.  Looking back, I was afraid that if he could handle it,  he would take over my role as mom.  It sounds silly now, but the insecurities we have as parents manifest in our actions.

Learning to share the responsibilities gave me more freedom to do the things I wanted to do and gave my husband a chance to bond with his sons.

Man of Steel Summer Movie for Your Son #SeeSteelFirst


This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Warner Bros. All opinions are thoughts are my own and I delighted to share this opportunity with you about the Man of Steel movie premiere at Walmart.

Man of Steel

My family is a proud group of superhero geeks. While we each have our favorites, one thing we all agree is that the ultimate superhero is The Man of Steel-Superman.  This summer has amazing movies coming up and Man of Steel is heading the way.

Every summer, we get excited about the summer movies because there’s always something that we all want to see. However, it’s our annual ritual to go to see at least one movie during the summer. This is not easy being that my son is now a teen and prefers not to do much with us.

The great thing about summer movies is that they give us an opportunity to connect as a family. For the past few years, when my husband has returned from a year of military deployment, we could always rely on a summer movie to get us back into the swing of things. This summer our choice is Man of Steel. My son is particularly excited because the movie comes out on his birthday weekend. In addition, it’s Father’s Day weekend, so I get to make two of the guys in my life very happy.  The trailer for this movie looks amazing and the storyline is one we’ve never seen before because it takes us into the life of Superman-the man. The movie explores Clark Kent’s struggles with his identity and how he fits into this world.  What teen boy can’t relate to this?


I am so happy to share with you that Walmart is offering you the opportunity to see the movie before it debuts on June 14th! Walmart is selling advanced screening tickets.  Thanks to Walmart, you can avoid the long lines and crowds, and purchase your ticket without stress or fuss at any Walmart store. Just go to your local Walmart, head over to the Electronics Department and purchase your ticket for the June 13th 7:00pm showing.  In addition to your tickets, you’ll also be the first to pre-order on DVD & Blu-Ray as well as get a free digital comic book with story by Man of Steel writer, David Goyer.

Man of Steel Tickets

 

So you can see the movie before everyone else on June 13th and be the hero in your family.  Get an early start on your weekend fun thanks to Walmart.  Don’t just sit there reading my post- Go! If you’re in NYC, the closest Walmart store is 2100 88Th St North Bergen, NJ 7047 Tel: (201) 758-2810.  They still have tickets, so hurry!

PS. Meet our newest Superman fan!

Superman fan

 

Purchase tickets to the exclusive pre-screening of Man of Steel [PG-13] on June 13th, 2013 at 7 PM at your local Walmart! Tickets can be purchased in the Electronics Department and include an exclusive digital comic book written by David S. Goyer, author of “Man of Steel”, as well as an exclusive opportunity to pre-order an HD digital download or Blu-Ray copy of the film.

  • Go to your local Walmart
  • Visit the electronics department
  • Purchase your EXCLUSIVE Man of Steel prescreening tickets (available in 2D or 3D)
  • Take your family to the theater location noted on your ticket and watch the EXCLUSIVE 7 p.m. premiere of Man of Steel on June 13th!

Learn more here!

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Warner Bros. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

 

Your Word is Your Bond-Keeping Promises

Promises

Your son may not always remember all the great things you’ve done for him but he’ll never forget a broken promise. My mom has never broken a promise to us and to this day, I respect her for her candor and integrity. If my mom couldn’t do something, she thoroughly explained why it couldn’t be done and despite our disappointment, we understood. I have followed my mom’s footsteps in my relationship with my sons. I want them to trust me and “my word” as well as learn the importance of being true to your words.

When children are little, they believe in their parents, and have unrealistic expectations of them. When you make promises, but do not keep them, children start to question your credibility. They  feel betrayed by broken promises.

If you are unable to keep your promise because of an emergency or illness, communicate the circumstance clearly with your son, so that there is no misunderstanding. Don’t over commit yourself to the demands of your son.

Set healthy boundaries with him early so he knows not to take advantage of you. If you can not be available for something, don’t lie and say “Yes”, just to please him. Be honest about what you are able to do. Your son may be disappointed but he’ll appreciate your honesty. You are setting an example for your son. When you don’t honor your word, it lets your son know that talk is cheap and he doesn’t need to be held accountable for what he says.

Image Courtesty of Flickr

Raising a Servant Leader

Hands

In our world, it’s easy to get caught up in the pressure and competitiveness of raising a child who is personally and academically successful. Our society does not allow for mediocrity and slackers. From the time our child is born, we are flooded with images and messages that encourage us to raise leaders. We enroll our kids in various programs hoping to either awaken their latent leadership skills or reinforce the leadership qualities we see exhibited in them. Our society glorifies fame, power and wealth. No longer are we satisfied with living a comfortable life, we want things bigger and better than everyone else.

We become so concerned with giving our kids the tools they need to lead, we sometimes forget to equip them with the compassion to give back. Our future lies in the hands of the next generation. They will be the adults making key decisions, implementing laws and policies that affect our lives. We can’t just focus on raising kids that lead successful lives, we have to focus on raising leaders that empower others and lead with love rather than power.

Great leaders are honest, empathetic, loving, humble,  kind, respectful, influential, confident, fair, flexible, open-minded, and brave.  However, when we talk about leadership, we often omit the words: loving, kind, humble, empathetic. It’s as if they represent a weakness in leadership. Yet, some of the greatest leaders who walk on earth embodied these characteristics. If we look at the leadership style of Jesus, we would see that Jesus was led with love.  So, why is it that we neglect to impress upon our children the importance of love in leadership.

It’s easy to get followers if you’re charismatic or powerful enough to convince people of your vision or plan. Yet, it’s more effective to get supporters who share in your vision and plan because they know you care about them. It’s a message we need to share with our children about leadership. Our goal in raising men and women of character is to ensure that we are not encouraging our children to become egotistic leaders.

The one way we can do this is to help our kids balance their greatness by using their heads and hearts. As parents, our role is to model the behavior we want to see in our children. Taking the time to reflect on our behavior, helps us become more aware of how we lead as parents.  Think about your characteristics as a leader. Do you use your power for personal gain? Are you fair and flexible when others make mistakes? Are you more concerned about looking good as a leader than doing what’s right? Are you clear about your motives?

If you want to raise a servant leader of tomorrow, you must start to live as a servant leader today.

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Be the Mom You Want to Be! Make 2013 Your Best Year Yet!

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Dear Mom,

It’s easy for us to get wrapped in up in planning for our family that we neglect to plan for our lives. Why is it that we want so much for our kids, but don’t give the same attention to our needs? How can we possibly guide and nurture our kids to make the right decisions in life, if we aren’t planning for our own lives?
We set goals but get side-tracked by schedules and commitments and just operate on autopilot.

However, if we continue on this track, we get nowhere. I know when I do not plan, it affects not only me but my family as well.

Instead of setting New Year’s resolutions that get dismissed by March, I wanted to help you plan for the year ahead with confidence and faith.

My 8 Week Program is designed not to be life changing but rather to help you gradually make progress in the areas of your life that matter most to you. This program is a tool to that will assist you in identifying your areas of improvement and measuring your progress.

During the 8 weeks, you’ll receive a weekly lesson plan as well as reflection questions and affirmations by email. Since we’re all busy moms, you can review the lessons at your pace during the week and if you need support or have any questions, you can contact me.

Since it’s done completely online, you can start whenever you want!

Here’s what you’ll receive in the 8 week program:

  1. How to Create Your Personal Mission Statement
  2. How to Devote Time to Things you Love Without Sacrificing Time With Your Kids
  3. How to Get Your Needs Met and Your Boundaries Respected by Your Family
  4. How to Create a Support System for Yourself
  5. How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Moms
  6. How to Set Realistic Parenting Goals
  7. How to Shape Your Children’s Memories and Leave a Loving Legacy
  8. How to Balance the Roles in Your Life

Are you ready to say “YES” to making 2013 your best year yet?

Click the button below to get started–only $9.99 for the entire program

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